I missed him i really do...

Past few days, i have been thinking it doesn't the duration of how long i have been with him or perhaps i was rushing into a r/s ? I am not sure of wtf i want any more everything was just like a twister came and go in split  seconds. he went overseas on Sunday early in the morning.. reach le didn't msg me.. I went to stalk him in meanwhile, i don't understand. i msged him in wassapp and he just reply me with lol and a google map of where is he.. and for the next 4 days no news anymore .. totally no communication with him.. 

But why is it that he can be so bz w/o returning my wassap msg and yet he is able to go online to that dating site ? this is really puzzling. 

I am just like a zombie now, my physical body is here yet my soul is not here in office working anymore. 

half the time i am thinking of him. waiting for his wassapp. sigh is it really worth it ? I am not sure anymore.

Maybe i am just a toy in his eyes, I really do like him alot but i am not sure of his feelings for me. Perhaps he doesn't even care about me. Yes in a way i am very afraid, of going into a r/s because I really want someone to love me... yet i couldn't find any .. 

Simple dream, yet hard to achieve. If this r/s doesn't work out then i rather not to go into any more r/s anymore. I am tired... really tired. . .